Once again, I have been told I have a "super rare condition." Awesome. For those of you who are glowingly healthy and your biggest worry is getting a flu shot, know that I covet your life.
I have a condition called orthostatic tremor. Yep, it's a "super rare condition." It took me years to get that diagnosis, 3 neurologists and 6 major tests later. Having OT means that my arms and legs have a tremor and weakness. Most of the time, the tremor cracks me up (I realize it's sort of horrifying to other people, but try to eat soup with a tremor - it's hilarious), but the weakness is no joke. I've learned to adapt and my life goes on without too much trouble.
Then I fell. Stupid weak legs. Unfortunately, I fell while standing on one of my kitchen chairs. Which are bar stool height. I just wanted to paint something pretty on my kitchen walls. And also I get a little stubborn about trying to live like "normal" people once in a while. Go figure. Anyway, I twisted my left foot on the way down from this fall. It became this freaky blueberry balloon. Ew. But we had it x-rayed and it had no breaks, so I figured it would heal like a sprain. I stayed in bed for 4 weeks because I couldn't walk on it at all, but still figured it was just a sprain healing slowly.
I went to my doctor, and she said, "That should be healed by now. And, um, it looks wrong." Yeah, I pay actual money for this. She ordered an MRI, which turned out to TADA! show nothing.
But I still couldn't walk on it, so off I go to a foot specialist. This guy says, "I looked over your MRI, which shows nothing remarkable, but I'm staring at your weird-looking foot which is still black and blue after 5 weeks and I can tell something's wrong." Yeah, I pay actual money for this, too. He says multiple things are going wrong with my foot: 1. I have a neuroma. 2. I have plantar fasciitis. 3. I may have something called CRPS (he pronounced it "Crips," which made me think he would pull out a gang bandana or something), which is Complex Regional Pain Syndrome.....wait for it.....which is a "super rare condition." Wonderful. I was hoping to have another one of those.
Now I have to go see a neurologist to be worked up for CRPS. Really? I just sprained my foot! I call my oldest son, who is laughing hysterically on the phone while I'm telling him this story. When he can control himself, he chokes out, "Mama, just donate your body to science now and get it over with."
I'm actually considering it.
ugh...
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