I have a stunning brunette daughter with eyes like honey caramel. She's intelligent, talented, and gorgeous. But once in a while...she pops out with some seriously head-scratching stuff. Today I bring you some of our favorite moments:
Holly on:
Food:
"Mama, can you OD on broccoli?"
Weather:
"If you like the rain, I don't understand your life at all."
Punctuation:
"I laugh out loud every time I type an exclamation point because I was told 'nobody is that happy.'"
Apologies:
"Sorry to everyone for my existence last night."
Safety:
"I'm walking to my car with my pink mace in hand. Mess with me now punk."
Shopping:
"They say this city is the happiest place on earth, but I don't see a Nordstrom."
Nature:
"A bug just went into my backpack. I panicked and just zipped it up. Guess I won't be opening my backpack like...ever again."
Living independently:
"Couldn't figure out how to go through the car wash. #mydaddyspoilsme"
Telling Daddy her tire is flat:
"It's not that bad. Only the bottom half of the tire is flat."
I adore my girl, and the family has a lot of fun with some of her Hollyisms. I've been saying for years "That's another one for the book, Blond Moments From A Stunning Brunette." So, here you go. Chapter 2 to come....
What have your teenagers said that cracks you up?
I am the Keeper of All Knowledge. Or so my son named me when he was 7. All those questions your kids ask you when they are young, I could answer. Why is the sky blue? Because blue light from the sun is scattered more than other colors, son. Why is the grass green? Because of chlorophyll, sugar. I adore research, so what I don't know, I look up - with my kids. It didn't seem to change their awe that we had to look the answer up; they were just amazed that I even knew where to find the answer.
- In an average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.
- Diet Coke was only invented in 1982.
- If you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have $1.19 and also the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
- The Neanderthal's brain was bigger than yours.
- On the new hundred dollar bill, the time on the clock tower of Independence Hall is 4:10.
- It took Tolstoy 6 years to write War and Peace.
- The King of Hearts is the only king without a mustache.
- Every year, about 98% of the atoms in your body are replaced.
- Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump.
- The word "nerd" was first coined by Dr. Seuss in If I Ran the Zoo.
I got good at it. Bring it on!
But then the questions slowed. The kids grew. They learned how to find their own answers (that was the whole point, after all), and I got a little less amazing in their eyes. I started to gather random information that nobody was asking and realized that I liked it. I love just knowing stuff. It's like extending school forever, the Degree of Perpetually Continuing Education.
The kids grew even more and, what do you know, they started asking questions again. To my delight, the questions were much harder, less random, and much more relevant to their life. Mama, what is this medication the doctor prescribed? Should I take it? Mom, I've been trying to study and my brain isn't retaining any information; why is that and what do I do? Hey Mom, what do you put on a burn?
Ahhhh, I'm still relevant, and so is my weird little cache of info. And when the kids continue to grow and become Keepers of their own Knowledge, I have grandbabies to look forward to. I think I'll keep that education going...
Anyone else love simply knowing a lot of random stuff? What's your favorite random fact?
What questions did your kids ask you that made you run to the computer to look up? What answer(s) made them look at you like you are The Keeper of All Knowledge?
"I'm walking to my car with my pink mace in hand. Mess with me now punk."
